The motley group of Tanya, Ida and Shane gathered around Ray. Hanwen had cast a spell to remove Edin's fist from the mass of Ray's hair, but it seemed that it had a slight side effect - Ray's hair caught fire.
The problem was soon solved though when Shane asked Ray to rock and roll (which Edin promptly corrected to stop, drop and roll).
"OK, so the reunion didn't really get to a good start. I apologise for that. I think my superhuman powers are influencing my hormones too much." Ray gushed.
Shane thought for a moment.
"Well, on the account of the 1 month free chococrunch we koped from your field, I forgive you."
And so they had a tight hug until Hanwen had fleeting thoughts of homosexuality, which grossed him out.
"Hey, cut that out. We have serious things to do now. Tanya, get the Un-united Nations to come and govern City-Which-Rocks in the interim. They'll most probably come in a zillion years' time, so you'll stay in City-Which-Rocks first. When you have handled stuff and found a rightful leader, catch up with me and Ray. We'll gather resources and set off first. There is no time to lose!" Hanwen ordered.
Tanya nodded, understanding the responsibilities that lie on her shoulders.
Ray nodded, dozing off and wandering to dreamland.
After receiving a teravolt shock from Hanwen's wand, Ray jolted from his hibernation state and a dream about being in a world where all men were hairy like him.
"Now, we need to find shelter."
The three heads turned to Ida, Shane and Edin. Then to their hut in the distance. Ray was trying the "doleful puppy eyes look" but after seeing the disgusted expressions around, decided to discontinue it.
Maybe society was not ready for his sexiness yet.
"Well, I can let you guys stay there if you give me something good..." Shane pondered aloud.
"I can forget the 5 million x-rated FHM (For Hairy Men) magazines you still owe me..." offered Ray tentatively.
"Deal!" Shane agreed decisively amid worried stares from Ida. Shane made a mental note to convince Ida later that he looked at the FHM magazine only for the hair loss control part. He was afraid his hair loss may lead to him looking less handsome, hurting his chances of winning Mr Bodybuilder.
And so the group left for the hut with the exception of Tanya who went over to the castle immediately. Things needed to be in control quickly.
Along the way Hanwen was in a buoyant mood. "Tomorrow we prepare for our journey. To infinity and beyond!" he proclaimed triumphantly.
Edin made a comment about not being able to go beyond infinity but it wasn't enough to dampen the mood of Hanwen.
"I mean, I have pokemon pearl to look forward too!" Hanwen thought, clutching the Nintendo DS that he took from the lord's armour.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Chapter 2
"Seems like he is dead." Ray said, poking the Lord-Who-Rocks' body with the Sword-That-Rocks.
"Seems like someone is approaching." Tanya commented, as she pointed to her left.
Everyone turned to where Tanya pointed, and true enough, someone was approaching, in fact, three people were approaching, two male, and one female.
Ray, upon noticing the female stranger, could not suppress his hormones any longer. "Hi babe!" Ray screamed across the field, waving his hands.
Ida hid behind Shane, who in turned yelled back at Ray, "@#!$ OFF! She is mine!" Shane stood in front of Ida and started flexing his muscles. "You want a fight?"
Ray was about to activate his red underwear's powers again, when Hanwen stopped him.
"He is just a mortal. There is no need for the powers of the legendary underwear." Hanwen said, trying his best to appear wise.
"Who cares man!" Edin screamed, as he rushed forward, clenching his fists, "Charge!!!"
After 10 minutes of running, Edin's fist finally connected with Ray, or at least, his hair.
"That itches." Ray commented, as he stared at Edin's fist, which was now entangled in his magnificent chest hair.
"Ah!!!" Edin attempted to punch Ray with his other fist, but it ended up getting entangled in his chest hair once again.
Tanya, Hanwen and Ray stared at Edin. "What are you doing?" They echoed.
"Impossible! There is no way I can't kill you with my fist!" Edin screamed, as he tried to pull his hands away from Ray.
"What do we do now?" Ida asked.
"Fear not. Sun Tze once said. Know the weakness of your enemies and victory is yours!" Shane declared loudly, as he crossed his arms and tried to look manly.
"Wow. I didn't know of such a thing! You are so knowledgeable!" Ida looked at Shane in admiration.
"Correction," Edin interrupted, with his hands still stuck in the black mass, "Firstly, I was the one who taught him that. Secondly, Sun Tze didn't say that. That was just the translated version of what he said."
"Can't you at least shut up for once?" Shane screamed, irritated by Edin's attempt to make Shane appear less manly.
"Yo look, maybe if you know how to apply that knowledge to the current situation, you might be able to extract your friend's hands. Yoyo." Hanwen rapped.
Shane taught about it for awhile.
"Correct. I remembered that my GP tutor taught me how to solve Application Questions. I am first supposed to analyse the question. So, what's the question?" Shane asked.
Hanwen sighed, took out his wand and conjured a pair of scissors, which he gave Shane. "Just hurry up and get your friend's hands away from that stuff. It's making me puke out the ChocoCrunch I had for breakfast."
"Seems like someone is approaching." Tanya commented, as she pointed to her left.
Everyone turned to where Tanya pointed, and true enough, someone was approaching, in fact, three people were approaching, two male, and one female.
Ray, upon noticing the female stranger, could not suppress his hormones any longer. "Hi babe!" Ray screamed across the field, waving his hands.
Ida hid behind Shane, who in turned yelled back at Ray, "@#!$ OFF! She is mine!" Shane stood in front of Ida and started flexing his muscles. "You want a fight?"
Ray was about to activate his red underwear's powers again, when Hanwen stopped him.
"He is just a mortal. There is no need for the powers of the legendary underwear." Hanwen said, trying his best to appear wise.
"Who cares man!" Edin screamed, as he rushed forward, clenching his fists, "Charge!!!"
After 10 minutes of running, Edin's fist finally connected with Ray, or at least, his hair.
"That itches." Ray commented, as he stared at Edin's fist, which was now entangled in his magnificent chest hair.
"Ah!!!" Edin attempted to punch Ray with his other fist, but it ended up getting entangled in his chest hair once again.
Tanya, Hanwen and Ray stared at Edin. "What are you doing?" They echoed.
"Impossible! There is no way I can't kill you with my fist!" Edin screamed, as he tried to pull his hands away from Ray.
"What do we do now?" Ida asked.
"Fear not. Sun Tze once said. Know the weakness of your enemies and victory is yours!" Shane declared loudly, as he crossed his arms and tried to look manly.
"Wow. I didn't know of such a thing! You are so knowledgeable!" Ida looked at Shane in admiration.
"Correction," Edin interrupted, with his hands still stuck in the black mass, "Firstly, I was the one who taught him that. Secondly, Sun Tze didn't say that. That was just the translated version of what he said."
"Can't you at least shut up for once?" Shane screamed, irritated by Edin's attempt to make Shane appear less manly.
"Yo look, maybe if you know how to apply that knowledge to the current situation, you might be able to extract your friend's hands. Yoyo." Hanwen rapped.
Shane taught about it for awhile.
"Correct. I remembered that my GP tutor taught me how to solve Application Questions. I am first supposed to analyse the question. So, what's the question?" Shane asked.
Hanwen sighed, took out his wand and conjured a pair of scissors, which he gave Shane. "Just hurry up and get your friend's hands away from that stuff. It's making me puke out the ChocoCrunch I had for breakfast."
Thursday, July 3, 2008
two - Chapter 1
It was all clear skies around this part of Infral. The City-Which-Rocks, governed by the autocratic rule of Lord Who Rock, has seen its fair share of quiet moments these years. Well, almost, except for the Lord Who Rocks' victory in Infral Idol and the chococrunch field incident a few months earlier.
Ray is still on the loose, and the lord has been getting more impatient with each day. His army of sorceresses had been searching everywhere.
The news of the chococrunch field that Ray had caused had by now, spread all over the city and perhaps, even to other parts of Infral. Ida Harfan and Shane Hui were among the first to know, for the couple lived just beside Ray's farm.
On that fateful day, Shane had been out in their sugarcane fields doing push-ups and crunches to maintain his large biceps and abs, while Ida was busy cooking breakfast in the little hut by their field.
Just as Shane was going back for more peanut oil for his bodybuilding session, he heard a rather loud sound of chocolate flooding Ray's wheat fields. The rest was history.
They had chococrunch for the whole month.
----------------------------------------
It had been many months since Ray had went off and they were missing him already. His friendliness and cheerfulness had been sort of taken for granted by them already, they realized.
It was a hot afternoon when the couple heard an explosion at the wheat field that used to be Ray's.
"Bloody !@#$%^! What happened?" Ida exclaimed.
Shane felt this was the time to take control of the situation and show his male dominance.
"Come my love, we shall see what is the commotion about. With me around, you shall have no fear." he announced confidently.
A voice resonated in the room. "Hey, I'm coming along too!"
That came from Edin, brother of Shane. Being more handsome, smarter, stronger and generally more likable than Shane, he was rather popular when he entered Infral Idol recently. He lost out to Lord Who Rocks in the final, who won with a whopping 99% majority.
He had even beaten Ray in the Semi Finals. Which was a great feat considering Ray's appeal among the aunties.
Edin emerged from his room. He had been writing a new strategy book for Pokemon Pearl recently. He's thinking of adopting Sun Tzu's strategies inside this new book.
Shane agreed to let Edin come along reluctantly, ruing his lost chance to appear manly in front of Ida.
Little did they know that the trip to the now chococrunch-field was about to turn into a journey of a lifetime.
Ray is still on the loose, and the lord has been getting more impatient with each day. His army of sorceresses had been searching everywhere.
The news of the chococrunch field that Ray had caused had by now, spread all over the city and perhaps, even to other parts of Infral. Ida Harfan and Shane Hui were among the first to know, for the couple lived just beside Ray's farm.
On that fateful day, Shane had been out in their sugarcane fields doing push-ups and crunches to maintain his large biceps and abs, while Ida was busy cooking breakfast in the little hut by their field.
Just as Shane was going back for more peanut oil for his bodybuilding session, he heard a rather loud sound of chocolate flooding Ray's wheat fields. The rest was history.
They had chococrunch for the whole month.
----------------------------------------
It had been many months since Ray had went off and they were missing him already. His friendliness and cheerfulness had been sort of taken for granted by them already, they realized.
It was a hot afternoon when the couple heard an explosion at the wheat field that used to be Ray's.
"Bloody !@#$%^! What happened?" Ida exclaimed.
Shane felt this was the time to take control of the situation and show his male dominance.
"Come my love, we shall see what is the commotion about. With me around, you shall have no fear." he announced confidently.
A voice resonated in the room. "Hey, I'm coming along too!"
That came from Edin, brother of Shane. Being more handsome, smarter, stronger and generally more likable than Shane, he was rather popular when he entered Infral Idol recently. He lost out to Lord Who Rocks in the final, who won with a whopping 99% majority.
He had even beaten Ray in the Semi Finals. Which was a great feat considering Ray's appeal among the aunties.
Edin emerged from his room. He had been writing a new strategy book for Pokemon Pearl recently. He's thinking of adopting Sun Tzu's strategies inside this new book.
Shane agreed to let Edin come along reluctantly, ruing his lost chance to appear manly in front of Ida.
Little did they know that the trip to the now chococrunch-field was about to turn into a journey of a lifetime.
Chapter 18
The lord came closer to Ray and his gang.
"I should have expected," The lord took out a large, red loudspeaker from nowhere and shouted into it, "It just has to be you, Hanwen."
"Yo manz look, I'm not here to fight you," Hanwen replied, as he placed his wand back into his pocket, "The one to beat is this hairy man over here, Shining Ray O'Flight!" he continued, as he pointed to Ray, who was still gripping tightly to his red underwear.
"Lulz? You are sending that gay to fight me?" The lord laughed loudly. "You must be joking."
"Seriously, you don't have to use that loudspeaker, you know?" Tanya pointed out, "We are not exactly very far away right now, seeing that you are just about 10 metres away from us."
"Look before you speak, loser." Hanwen added, pointing at Ray, "This guy over here is one of the Five Chosen Ones. He will beat you in a flash."
Hanwen whispered into Ray's ears, "Just put on your underwear. Remember to ask him for my DS before you kill him." Ray nodded his head.
"Oh yeah?" The lord unsheathed his legendary blade, the Sword-That-Rocks, "Let the battle begin!"
"Shaolin Showdown!" Ray shouted, as he put on his underwear.
"OMG I'm HOT!" Ray began to burn like he did previously.
"To hell with you!" The lord raised his sword up into the air and brought it down on Ray. "Die to my Sword-That-Rocks!"
Just before the legendary sword struck Ray, large, purple vines sprouted from the ground and held the Lord-Who-Rocks firmly to the ground.
"What the, who's gay vines are those?" The lord shouted, as he tried to break free of the vines' grip.
"Eh, I'm not that hot now." Ray said.
Hanwen patted him on his shoulder. "Congratulations brother, you have mastered the powers of your red undies. From now onwards, you will be able to use your powers without overheating."
Ray looked at his underwear in amazement.
After a few minutes of staring at his red underwear, he finally realised that the Lord-Who-Rocks is still not defeated.
"Let me go you @#$%!" the lord screamed loudly, as he continued trying to get out of the vines.
"Lend me that for a moment," Ray asked politely as he reached for the Lord-Who-Rocks' Sword-That-Rocks.
"Byebye, evil lord." Ray aimed for the lord's head and slashed through it with the blade.
"Oops, I missed." Ray said as he realised that all he has managed to slash is some strands of hair.
After several tries to end the lord's life, Ray finally succeeded.
"Hurray! We are the champions!"
---End of Season One - Legend of Ray O'Flight
"I should have expected," The lord took out a large, red loudspeaker from nowhere and shouted into it, "It just has to be you, Hanwen."
"Yo manz look, I'm not here to fight you," Hanwen replied, as he placed his wand back into his pocket, "The one to beat is this hairy man over here, Shining Ray O'Flight!" he continued, as he pointed to Ray, who was still gripping tightly to his red underwear.
"Lulz? You are sending that gay to fight me?" The lord laughed loudly. "You must be joking."
"Seriously, you don't have to use that loudspeaker, you know?" Tanya pointed out, "We are not exactly very far away right now, seeing that you are just about 10 metres away from us."
"Look before you speak, loser." Hanwen added, pointing at Ray, "This guy over here is one of the Five Chosen Ones. He will beat you in a flash."
Hanwen whispered into Ray's ears, "Just put on your underwear. Remember to ask him for my DS before you kill him." Ray nodded his head.
"Oh yeah?" The lord unsheathed his legendary blade, the Sword-That-Rocks, "Let the battle begin!"
"Shaolin Showdown!" Ray shouted, as he put on his underwear.
"OMG I'm HOT!" Ray began to burn like he did previously.
"To hell with you!" The lord raised his sword up into the air and brought it down on Ray. "Die to my Sword-That-Rocks!"
Just before the legendary sword struck Ray, large, purple vines sprouted from the ground and held the Lord-Who-Rocks firmly to the ground.
"What the, who's gay vines are those?" The lord shouted, as he tried to break free of the vines' grip.
"Eh, I'm not that hot now." Ray said.
Hanwen patted him on his shoulder. "Congratulations brother, you have mastered the powers of your red undies. From now onwards, you will be able to use your powers without overheating."
Ray looked at his underwear in amazement.
After a few minutes of staring at his red underwear, he finally realised that the Lord-Who-Rocks is still not defeated.
"Let me go you @#$%!" the lord screamed loudly, as he continued trying to get out of the vines.
"Lend me that for a moment," Ray asked politely as he reached for the Lord-Who-Rocks' Sword-That-Rocks.
"Byebye, evil lord." Ray aimed for the lord's head and slashed through it with the blade.
"Oops, I missed." Ray said as he realised that all he has managed to slash is some strands of hair.
After several tries to end the lord's life, Ray finally succeeded.
"Hurray! We are the champions!"
---End of Season One - Legend of Ray O'Flight
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Chapter 17
A deathly silence consumed the entire field. The powerful explosion had killed the sorcerers. Hanwen has done it again with a single spell.
Ray was visibly affected by the loss of his chococrunch field. So much that he did not realise that his clothes were burnt off in the great spell hanwen had cast. All his hard work was, quite literally, gone in a flash.
This disturbed him so much that he went off to have a little cry while hanwen tried to remember how to conjure a set of clothing for Ray to avoid getting nightmares the following week.
"OK, stop crying. We have a mission to get on with. And please wear the Pokemon clothes I conjured quickly please. Its revolting." Hanwen rattled.
Tanya offered Ray a box of chococrunch to lessen his suffering. Ray seemed ever so slightly cheered by the gesture.
Just then, a distant horn sounded. Ray recognized it instantly. For it was the same battle horn that sounded every time Lord Who Rocks went out to battle.
The lord came into sight, riding on a white horse with shining amour.
Tanya stood up, clutching the wand in her hand.
Ray followed, gripping the red underwear tightly in his fist.
Hanwen got up of his seat and stood with an imposing pose, screaming some battle cry.
"Its time to settle this score with him. And get that Nintendo DS!"
The battle has begun.
Ray was visibly affected by the loss of his chococrunch field. So much that he did not realise that his clothes were burnt off in the great spell hanwen had cast. All his hard work was, quite literally, gone in a flash.
This disturbed him so much that he went off to have a little cry while hanwen tried to remember how to conjure a set of clothing for Ray to avoid getting nightmares the following week.
"OK, stop crying. We have a mission to get on with. And please wear the Pokemon clothes I conjured quickly please. Its revolting." Hanwen rattled.
Tanya offered Ray a box of chococrunch to lessen his suffering. Ray seemed ever so slightly cheered by the gesture.
Just then, a distant horn sounded. Ray recognized it instantly. For it was the same battle horn that sounded every time Lord Who Rocks went out to battle.
The lord came into sight, riding on a white horse with shining amour.
Tanya stood up, clutching the wand in her hand.
Ray followed, gripping the red underwear tightly in his fist.
Hanwen got up of his seat and stood with an imposing pose, screaming some battle cry.
"Its time to settle this score with him. And get that Nintendo DS!"
The battle has begun.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)