Chapter 5

After a day of desperate struggle with numerous attempted spells, the party finally managed to transform the spikes back into the hair it was.

Ray looked around (again). Concluding rather despondently that there are no girls to show off to, he decided to assess the situation.

"OK, so we're in the middle of a desert. Great. Tanya, please guide us with your boundless wisdom."

"This is a time when we need a guide to lead us out of this godforsaken desert. I shall now conjure a guide. Alamaka Guido Weneed!" Tanya blurted out in one single breath.

The desert turned into a rainforest. Only thing was, the weeds and trees were not really as they seemed. They were actually hair. Ray's hair.

Ray made a mental note to remember this spell. This would be useful should he get too hot.

"That didn't help things much." Wongka said matter-of-factly. "I mean we're still lost."

Just at that moment, a half-dressed male swinging up among the trees on vines came into sight. With his signature yell that cannot be expressed in words.

"TARZEN!" Ray screamed. "Oh my god! I mean you're my idol! I saw you on FHM magazine!" (FHM stands for For Hairy Men)

"Yuloas asikop linuy huirab!" Tarzen trumpeted.

So it seemed that he doesn't speak English.

Tanya said, "No problem, let me use a spell on him."

He pointed his wand at Tarzen and screamed in the gayest pitch possible again, "Translatos Barbariantoenglish!"

Nothing happened.

Willy Wongka then took out his PDA and went to Google Translate, accessing the wireless@IFRAL network. They realised that Tarzen had said "I offer my guiding services for 10 meso!"

And so after reducing the rate to 9 meso and 1 choco crunch, the party set off through the jungle where more adventures await.